Q: The RAM is literally 5GB on boot on my 20GB RAM server. Is this normal?
Yea it's totally normal, here's why.
Yup, that's normal alright. This all depends on the following factors:
How up-to-date your Minecraft version is. For example, MC version 1.16.5 will take up more RAM than MC version 1.13.2.
Your plugins. You may want to read this article if the RAM keeps increasing despite there being no players, though if it's a plugin problem.
When your server starts, and let's say you have 20GB RAM, no plugins or modifications, it's totally normal for it to take 5GB RAM or so on boot. The more RAM you assign to your server, the more RAM it's going to feed on to make your server faster and smoother.
Of course, this is all dependant on the Java version and Minecraft version you go with.
But, you might think: "Okay this is ridiculous, I don't get this on [x] host. This is utter-". Alright, I get your pain. But it's totally normal, for a lot of hosts. We optimize a lot of things on our end all the time, from attack protection to speed and optimization of servers. What we recommend is, for example if your using Paper, look into ways you can optimize Paper by looking at online guides.
If the server continues crashing no matter what is tried, please contact us.
Technical stuff
The technical peeps might go on to the extensive efforts of changing their startup command. That's fine too. You might want to fiddle around with the startup command to see the best possible solution specifically for your server to get the best possible performance, and we're with you there!
One set of popular flags for changing the flags on the server is Aikars flags. Just to note, most server types on the SkylarNodes panel are already using Aikars flags. You may want to alter it to your own needs though - for peeps who know technical stuff (or want to learn more about Java flags), go on ahead and have a look. Though, if you want to change the startup command, you have to contact us so we can change it. This is due to technical constraints (and to prevent abuse), this can only be done on our end.
Small print
*We have a right to deny your request for changing the startup command if deemed necessary, for example, assigning more RAM than you actually have in your server. The final decision is at the sole discretion of SkylarNodes.
**Changing the OOM status normally has no restrictions and we'd be happy to enable/disable OOM if requested. However, certain exclusions may apply, and again, the decision is up to the SkylarNodes Team.
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